Scar Wars
by NoMoreYaoiHere
Summary: I pretty much suck at summaries. The MI characters take turns scarring each other. Rated T for Pervyness.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a series of one-shots where the characters take turns scarring each other.**

**Disclaimer- If I owned Mortal Instruments the main characters would be Magnus and Alec not Jace and Clary.**

_**SIMON**_

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_**Three days earlier-**_

"I bet that I can make you scream like a little girl by the time the week is out." Said Clary full of confidence.

"No you can't, I am un-scarable, and un-dead." Replied Simon.

"The deal is on!" said Clary.

"Whoever loses has to, um…" Simon said thinking.

"Whoever loses have to be the winner's slave for a day. And no Simon, not a sex slave." Clary suggested.

"Yes!" said Simon eagerly.

_**Three days later-**_

"Come in." Clary said when Simon knocked on her bedroom door. _'I will surely win today sense the yaoi magazines didn't work.' _Clary thought.

"Than…" Simon started to say until he saw the apparently used condom halfway sticking out of the garbage can. I was so glad he didn't realize it was just mayo.

"What?" I asked pretending to be oblivious then pretending to turn to see what he was staring at then I yelled, "I told him to flush the dammed thing!" I yelled.

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Simon yelled.

I replied by asking, "So slave, how's tomorrow?

**I hope you liked it.**

**This only the first of the scar wars, if you have any suggestions on ways to scar a character and tell me I might use it. If I use you're amazing idea you will be thanked in both ANs.**

**REVIEWS=LOVE LOVE=HAPPINES HAPPINESS =NO PYROS STALKING YOU AND SETTING YOU ON FIRE. **


	2. Izzy

**Many thanks to Jace'n'FangLover and DarkestAngel11 For their delightfully twisted idea for pairing. I am honestly shocked at how many people have read it since the 7****th****. All of you are my new bestest friends!!!!!**

_**Disclaimer-You people actually think I own Mortal Instruments? Please tell me it is the law.**_

**Izzy**

"I hate you you damn idiot! You know how much they mean to me!" she said in between sobs.

**Community Stalker POV**

**Three days earlier**

**Jace's POV **

"I am damn tired of her perfume drifting _right _into my room every time she decides to have a boy toy!" I yelled flopping down on the couch next to Alec.

"Well, if you shut your door maybe it wouldn't come in there your highness." He replied.

"Oh ha ha. Why are we so cheery today? I use the term cheery loosely."

"Can't we talk about the revenge you are planning but haven't mentioned yet?"

"Sure. I was thinking maybe we should replace her shampoo with ichor." I suggested.

"You honestly think she won't recognize the smell? I didn't know you were _that_ stupid." He replied.

"I've got it!" I yelled, "I am going to replace her clothes with the ugliest clothes ever, like the kind you should burn kind of ugly."

"You have fun with that, good luck buying those fugly clothes." He said.

"Oh. I will." I said suddenly feeling overly evil." I then spent the next two days finding the ugliest clothes on the face of the face of the earth. I also rented a storage building to put her current clothing in because I knew she wouldn't wear these clothes and I certainly don't want to see her naked. I then waited for her to go to sleep, thanks to the help from dad's sleeping pills. I then removed all her expensive clothes and replaced them with her new, it only cost me $100 to fill her entire walk-in closet, clothes.

When I awoke the next morning I heard, "Where the hell did my clothes go?!"

"They went to a little place known as shut the hell up before I kill you with your stellitoes!" Alec yelled. I got out of bed walked into her room, since her door was open, and said,

"So, ya like the new clothes I got you?" I said.

"I hate you you damn idiot! You know how much they mean to me!" she said in between sobs.

"Oh, you might need these to get your old clothes back." I said tossing the storage keys onto her bed.

"It is the one next to Burger King, but I'm not telling you which one it is." I said.

"For this, you shall die." She said on her way out with keys in hand.

"I can't wait to see her revenge." I heard back behind me. I actually jumped because I didn't hear Alec come up back behind me.

"I did not even hear you come up behind me, so that is why Magnus likes you." I said. I was then punched in the gut.

**Now thanks to my reviewers…**

**xocanoodle-As you can see, I did and am going to do more. Thanks.**

**Jace'n'FangLover-I liked the Jace and Izzy idea better than mine, that is why I used it.**

**LabyrinthOfDarkness-I sure hope so**

**TeamvanHelsing-Shut your trap. It is not my fault you actually expect me to remember to give you my flash drive at school so you can unifishilly be my beta.**

**DarkestAngel11-The idea was delightfully twisted. I hope you liked the way I used your suggestion.**

**Ideas are GREATLY accepted. Do you guys think I should make a new chapter that is Izzy's revenge?**

**Once again, thank you all.**

**REVIEWS=LOVE. LOVE=HAPPINESS. HAPPINESS=PEACE. PEACE=LIFE. LIFE=ME NOT SETTING YOU ON FIRE FOR NOT REVIEWING MY STORY. **


	3. Magnus?

**Here is Magnus's chapter of scarfulness.**

**~~~~ Alec's POV~~~~**

"I've got it!" I yelled. Jace, Clary, Isabelle, and I are having a contest. We were going to see who can scar Magnus first. Me and Jace or Clary and Izzy.

"What?" asked the ex-mundie.

"No one asked you," Jace said.

"If we scar Magnus first, you two have to be our slaves for a week. "

"I think that Alec and Jace should have to dress up in normal people colors and cut their hair," suggested Isabelle.

"Deal!" I yelled jumping up.

_**- 3 hours later -**_

"How are we gonna do this? I could tell by the way you spazzed out you have the perfect plan," Jace asked while we were sitting in my room.

"I need you to take Izz shopping tomorrow," I said, grinning evilly.

**Magnus's POV**

"Nothing."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Will you pretend to be scarred anyways?" Why the hell did Clary want me to be scarred?

"No."

"Why?"

"Why do you want to scar me? Is it some fetish you have?"

"Alec and Jace and then Izzy and I are having a contest to see who can scar you first."

"No."

"Dammit! Why not?" she yelled.

"Because this is a race that cannot be won. So, therefore, I shall not help anybody win or lose. So _leave_!"

"But."

"No!"

~~~~**Jace's POV**~~~~

I am afraid to find out why Alec is having me take Izz shopping.

~~~~**Alec's POV**~~~~

Okay, where does she keep her hooker heels?

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- The next day_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

~~~~**Izzy's POV**~~~~

"Has anybody seen my red lipstick?"

~~~~**Clary's POV**~~~~

Magnus is such a bitch.

~~~~**Simon's POV**~~~~

Why can't I be in on it!

~~~~**Magnus's POV**~~~~

"Hello."

"Hey."

"May I ask whom is calling?"

"You don't know?"

"Hello, my darling. What did I tell you about new cell phones?"

"Awww. But it is so fun to mess with you."

"Fuck you."

"After while. Do you have plans for tomorrow night?"

"No. Were you wishing to see my Magnificence?"

"Aren't I always?"

"What time will you be over?"

"I was actually wondering if you could come over here."

"Why?"

"I'm broke. No cab money." He is up to something.

"Anything for you darling."

"It's a date."

"Love you."

"I love you too, honey."

"Who the hell are you and what did you do with my Alec?"

"So I'm your Alec? Why was I not informed of this?"

"Please, you know that you are my bitch."

"We will just have to see about that tomorrow."

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- The next day_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

~~~~**Simon's POV**~~~~

Oh. My. Gosh. Magnus came over to see Alec and was waiting on the couch. Well Alec and Jace definitely won the contest.

~~~~**Alec's POV**~~~~

"Oh my god! Did I just kill him?"

~~~~**Jace's POV**~~~~

"Is he still breathing?" I managed to ask through my laughter.

~~~~**Clary's POV**~~~~

"He lied!"

~~~~**Izzy's POV**~~~~

"That's what happened to my clothes!"

**This one was to long so I am going to have a part two.**

**Do you like it?**

**Review and tell me.**


	4. Magnus Part 2

**Magnus Part Two**

**Disclaimer-Do I have to? Fine. I don't own this.**

**~~~~Magnus's POV~~~~**

When I knocked on the door of the Institute, Jace answered the door.

"What?" he asked. "Oh, come on in."

"No smartass comment today? I feel unloved," I replied, trying to sound upset.

"You are."

"I would call you an asshole, but I wouldn't want to insult the assholes of the world," I said flatly, pushing him to the side.

"Alec will be out in a minute," Clary said as I walked in.

"I'll just go up there," I said walking toward the stairs.

"He asked me not to let you go up there," Jace said flatly.

"Hm?" I said raising an eyebrow.

"In other words, sit down or I will friggin' maul you."

"Well, if you put it that way..." About fifteen minutes later Alec walked down the stairs in a bright red cocktail dress, red six-inch stellitoes, and a matching purse. He also had make-up on. At the sight of this I fell in the floor twitching.

**~~~~Community Stalker POV~~~~**

"Oh my god! Did I just kill him?" Alec yelled.

"Is he still breathing?" Jace managed to ask through his laughter.

"He lied!" Clary yelled, sounding outraged.

"That's what happened to my clothes!" Isabelle said.

Magnus was laying in the floor hyperventilating.

"You little fuckers," Clary said, "that is cheating and cheating is wrong."

"P-p-p-please t-tell m-m-me that this is j-j-just p-part of that b-bet," Magnus said twitching in the floor.

"Yes. How the hell can you walk in these things, Izz?" Alec asked. "I had to get a fucking balance rune."

"The dick throws your balance off," she responded.

"I am gonna go to my emo corner now." Alec replied.

**Do NOT ask about the random outburst of me coming up in my story. Or the chipmunk. Or the tuba. WHAT? Leave me alone! It is three in the morning and I am wigging out.**

**I need ideas peoples. HELPS MES!**

**PWEESE.**


	5. Alec

**All in favor for the scarring of Alec keep reading!**

**disclaimer~ I do NOT own Magnus, Alec, or those other people… :-( *sniffle***

**~~~~Alec's POV~~~~**

'Bad day, _really_ bad day,' I think, walking to Magnus's apartment. Maybe seeing him will make my day better. Of course it will, it always has and it always will.

When I get to his door I knock and I hear, "It's my day off. Unless someone is dying, go away."

"I guess you just don't want to see me," I said, sounding dejected.

The door swung open and Magnus said, "Alec darling, why are you knocking? Did I not give you a key?"

"Yeah, about that," I begun, "the key kinda got a little bit lost."

"Well, why don't you come inside and explain how the key got 'a little bit lost'?" he said, grinning. When I walked in and went to sit on his couch, he said, "No."

"What?"

"My room, you are gonna talk to me while I find you a new key."

"Okay."

I went into his room and he pointed to his bed. "Sit."

"Sir yes sir."

He spun around on his heel and walked up so close that we were touching lightly. "Save that for later, hun," he said winking at me. He walked off back toward the closet to find the box of spare keys. It is kinda sad that he has to have a box for keys 'cause I lose mine so much.

"What's that?" I asked. As many times as I've seen the inside of his closet, I've never noticed that box.

"Nothing," he said, pushing it back out of my view.

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso, pulling him into a hug. "Please tell me."

"Will you stop doing that if I do?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Ass."

"Not now. Definitely later, though."

"Tell me what is in the fucking box, you jackass!"

"Fine, but you have to keep hugging me."

He reached up, got the box and we went and sat down on his bed. On top it said "MOVIES" in Magnus's handwriting. When I opened it, I fell in the floor twitching. "What the hell Magnus?"

"What? I love Barbie movies."

**How many minds went to the gutter? Mine did and I am the frigging author. XD**

**REVIEW OR YOU WILL BE FED TO MY ARMY OF MINIONS (kittens). FEEL THE WRATH!**

**i SHALL HUG all MY REVIWERS… fucking caps lock -_-**

**I also apologize about the random apology in the previous chapter. Like I said, it was three in the morning. It is FOUR in the morning this time. I don't believe in sleep.**


	6. Isabelle's RevengeJace

**Hey people who probably forgot this fic existed and are just reading it to see what it is! XD**

**Kay so… In the second chapter Jace replaced ALL of Isabelle's clothes with the FUGLEIST clothes EVER! This chapter is her revenge…**

**Disclaimer~ Not doin it! My name doesn't even have a C in it! XP**

**~~~lol~~~**

"Alec, do you love me?" Isabelle asked walking into his room.

"No now go away."

"Help me please!"

"I didn't help Jace so I won't help you."

"How'd you know what I was gonna ask?" she exclaimed.

"I have known you your entire life."

"Oh, Alec! You have to!"

"No, I _have_ to breathe,I_ have_ to eat, I don't _want_ to help you."

"If you don't help me you're next," she said in an extremely evil voice she had learned from their mother.

Alec scooted over and patted the side of the bed next to him, "Have a seat dear beloved sister of mine! How may I be of assistance?"

"What time is Jace's date with Clary tonight?" she said grinning evilly.

"That'll be ten dollars ma'am," Isabelle handed the man a ten. "Please come back to Terri's Salon for all your barber needs. Have a nice day!"

Alec, Isabelle, Clary, Simon, and Magnus were all sitting in the living room when they all heard a blood curdling scream. Alec stood up and said, "I go see why he's screaming."

Not long after they heard Alec laughing. When he walked in the room Isabelle asked in an 'innocent' voice, "What on Earth was that about?"

Alec was still trying to breathe, "You…are…pure…evil."

Then they all heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs, everyone immediately broke out in laughter because once blonde Jace now had a hot pink mini afro. Isabelle walked up to him and said, "Pay back sucks don't it?"

**~~~lol~~~**

**So, what did you think? Did you like it? Hate it? It's 3 am and you find everything funny? Input and suggestions are GREATLY appreciated! XD**

**Reviews solve world hunger!**


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